Ur birthday

Jade
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It's ur birthday today

ah.. i miss you
but i am not brave enough to commit
i guess i'll let it float away.

i hate doing the "talk"
and also pain me when u say
u wanted to erase me out of ur life
if thats the only option
do it

but i will never forget u
once my love onces .

The Girl

Jade
0 Comments »

Alexandaria, Egypt, 2009

i started my first relationship when i was in Form 2
of course there were some short period of puppy loves before that
It's a girl that time..
She wasn't keen for us to be in a relationship that time
insisted we should wait till after we graduate Form 5.
I agree blindly.

As times goes by Form 3, Form 4, and Form 5
we became exclusive friends.
We sort of manage to keep a thing between us going on
until i got so used to it treating her more like a very close fren
than a lover.

I was totally weird out when i first hold her hand
which is er.. form 5?
and i got this identity crisis going on that time..
Thus, my darkest year of my life.
With those suicidal thoughts and stuff..
then i discover the reasons.

I love satay sticks instead of a cave
if u get wat i mean!
I fall in love with my best friend
who is also my classmate since primary 6.
He is still my bestie till now.
We ( me n the girl ) broke up before i went to pursue my study in A
a so called " 7-years relationship with her"

now that she knows i am gay
we still hang out
itw weird talking to her about the gay side.
and she is now dating my bestie that i mention earlier..
Weird?

Very weird ...


, ,

When?

Jade
2 Comments »


It's still a long way for me
when will i find my beau?
i still have another 3 years to go before i graduate.
holding a masters then.

Since i am studying in A,
its impossible for me to find someone,
or in other word, partner.
It seems impossible to me.
unless i swing back to the normal route.
visiting v jays jays and boobie land...
i had turn down 2 Honkies.

right now, i have someone i am interested in
but not likewise.
Will be heading to KL on the 27
hoping to meet him but to no avail,
guess he is just not that into me.
He wouldn't spare anytime.
things might change though
when i get there.. might?
but i try not to fall into "it"
"it" is love.

we have to differentiate the meaning of dating and bf
right now, i wanna date him out

It's just a date.
Platonic.

Proving

Jade
0 Comments »


When i was young, i admit i was lazy
i was overshadowed by my siblings' academic performance
Parents always intimidate me with
" Why don't u learn from your sister? "
" Look what's brother doing? STUDYING! "

And because of the constant pressuring and nagging
it made me a very rebellious kid. and a naughty one too.
i remember telling my mum..
"if u want me to study, u have to stop telling me so,
i'll rebel more... "

i know i am not stupid. i am just lazy.
how rebellious was i?
i got myself a naval piercing when i was Form 4.
Mum never knew it until today.
and until today, thats the reason i never go topless at home hehe..

(P/s : if u are thinking of getting one! don't! it's very gay
although my ex bf likes to play with it ;)
oh! i am gay btw . )

I bet in secondary school,
everyone remembers me as the active one,
the charming one, the head prefect, the 'it boy'
the tall one, the fashionable one.
no one remembers me as the smart ones.

even now my first impression to people
is " what a snobbish, player, bimbotic boy "
well u do know how first impression works right?

Within in the 1st 3 seconds of a new encounter
u are evaluated even if it is just a glance.
observing your manners, body language, appearance.
and once the first impression is made
it is virtually irreversible.

thats why i wanna prove to people that..
maybe i shud start living for myself not for the people
not maybe, i shud

so, dear blog...

i am more than just a pretty face.





11A's in SPM
Scholarship studying in A
Selected for an exchange prog to P
Dean's listed

, ,

Primary 6

Jade
0 Comments »



Surprisingly i went to a primary school gathering last night
Rarely i do this kinda of 'social gathering'
meeting a group of ex-classmate or so called ex-friends.
back then, we were carefree.
the bond between a being to another is not that significant yet.

They eventually become a hi-bye kinda fren.
and now meeting them would probably be real awkward.
don u think? or i am the only who think this way.

of course until our mind start developing
and each of us become sophisticatedly complex.
then we find our niche, our gang of friends.
u see, u see,
i dun actually have much memories during my primary school days
not to say i rmb much wats happening in secondary until the latter years,
keeke

so last night i learn that ...

i was the " cool gadget guy!
who always bring this weird stuff to school..
and every student will go " woooo " and " waaaa ".
never fail to impress, i guess i was quite an attention seeker back then

i was the " trend setter "
i actually set a trend in using a pencil box,
a Tupperwear one of course!
and turn out the attendees yesterday,
around 70% of them own one after seeing me use that
"blue spaceship "!

i was the " snoobish, fat, short, cute boy "
i refuse to borrow my pens, my sharpener, my belongings
and even if i borrow it to someone!
i insist it to be fast!!
shouting..." 借一下只啊！一下啊! 一下啊!"

i think i actually rmb that part..
Vaguely.

Gatherings?
Not as Chaotic as i though it would be


,

B

Jade
0 Comments »

B : Are u in M?
J : Yeah, for holidays.
B : plan to visit u , since i will be visiting grandparents too
J : oh! tell me when u are coming.

So B is coming to town
Me n B had an unpleasant history you see
But the unpleasant-ness only apply to me.
Since he is the one conducting it.

Yes it occurs when i was young,
when i was all naive and innocent.
uncorrupted.

It happen 3 consecutive year
before i come to my senses.
Realizing something wasn't right.
Its too late though..
the permanent damage was done
and i am living with it now.

I am over it, I moved on a long time ago
but too bad,

My body lag behind.




Living

Jade
1 Comment »

Living in the city M.
It's a love and hate relationship

I love it because of the small population here
hence the traffic is not as hectic, comparable to KL
Love driving on the empty street, going 60 kmh
listening to blue, jazzy songs.
It just made my mind relax and wonder to a better place.

ironically...
I hate it because of the small population here too..
People including me, stays at home from day to night
facing the square box, and lying on the sofa in the mermaid posture...

less demands,
hence less clubs, less malls, and less branded outlets.
i need more clubs! it;s a new hobby i just acquire after the KL trip
especially clubs that swing the other way.
the abnormal ones..

i love the feeling of being tipsy
and... drunk

Guilty Pleasure.